I'd Rather Be Alone

I spent the majority of my day working in an office just off the beach - it's a beautiful office, but in some cruel twist of irony there is no beach view, just views of a cement wall. After working on some mind melting analytics I decided that it was about time I took a walk on the beach.

So I grabbed my keys and my cell and I headed towards the ocean. I stopped just short of the water and just stood there for a few minutes absorbing how amazingly beautiful it was. As I was standing there I had a brief conversation with a friend about some recent frustration in my life. You see, I want what I cannot have. But this time it is not simply because I can't have it - it's because for once I have a rational reason to want this. Yes, I speak in riddles on this subject.

While I am standing by the ocean, watching the sun set and waves crash on the sand I suddenly knew that I wanted someone to be there to enjoy that view with me. I wanted someone who wouldn't talk, who wouldn't even touch me, but someone who would just stand there and take it all in. Someone who understood how beautiful and relaxing that scene really was to me. My mind went through the possibilities - the men I've had in my life previously and the men who come and go now.

It's true.

I would rather stand on that beach alone, enjoy the sunset and the water alone, than be with the wrong man. I would rather go through life alone than spend time with someone I don't like or love. I would, however, like to eventually find that person... preferably with as little heartbreak as possible.